this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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