I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
