that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
