Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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