just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
