I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
