i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
