Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
