Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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