I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
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