My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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