he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
