Come see our sink grown plant.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
