I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
