Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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