evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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