...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
