just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
