Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
