It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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