I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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