check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
