If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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