She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
