Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The beer is more important than you right now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize