shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
