I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
