Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
