I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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