i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
