That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
