do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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