Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
