maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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