found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
