Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize