So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Mom said you looked used
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
