You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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