I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
