Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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