Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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