Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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