Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
