For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
