I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The beer is more important than you right now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
