I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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