Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize