Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
