Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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