im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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