I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
