don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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