why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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