What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
