"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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