Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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