so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
