we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
