I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
