Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
