WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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