she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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