Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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