Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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