Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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