im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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