I wish I could punch you in the face.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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