He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
